its been forever since i saw that look in her eyes
and the way she just fell into my arms...
it reminded me how much i love this girl
(like i need a reason)
today was just a good day...
i mean i only got to see her for a cupple hours but i had fun just hangin out and goofin off on the couch
i hope she had fun too
its about 2:30 and i havent been able to get the damn smile off my face
i just cant get over the look in her eyes
i just love that look :)

when im upset or feeling that blackness creeping up on me...
i like to go for a walk (and have a smoke if i have one)
look up at the sky and just zone out
sometimes if i find a nice spot of grass
ill lay down and close my eyes
if i have music, ill sing
though i do suck i sing anyways
(i sound like a rabbit being torn apart my coyotes...what a visual eh?)
it calms me down
where i can just sing
ill shut up if someone walks by, or if i actually have my music in...i dont notice them
here's one that ive been singing cuz its so stuck in my head
not to mention its a good song

Hello lonely
How you doin' today?
Hello sweet thing
Why don't you walk this way?

Hello, you again
How could you go and be so cold?
She said "Goodbye sad man"
Cuz all this pain is getting old

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you that haunts my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this?

Hello lonely
Now that you're gone I can move on
Goodbye sweet thing
Just know that I've been here all along

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you who haunts my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
Again
Again
All those days you waste on me
I just can't let you go

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you who haunts my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?

How could you walk away?
(Again)
How could you walk away from this?
(Again)
Just walk away from this again

i am so lucky
i am so loved
i have three angels sent from above

My green eyed angel
gave me life
love and knowledge
her warm arms are always there
full of support
i always know she cares

My Blue Eyed Angel
gives me hope
makes me smile
a cute little face that warms my soul
and gives me strength to carry on

My Brown Eyed Angel
is always there
when i have no-one to turn to
when no-one seems to care
her love is always with me
and i take it everywhere

these three angels have touched my life so
when i start not to care
when i start to break
my angels are always with me
my life i will not take
they always seem to show me
no matter how big or small
that their love is always with me
a love that conquers all

...its all i seem to do lately
Reach
-for her
-for help
-for a fucking job
Miss
-her, my everything
-my point
Fall
-beyond salvation
-beyond help
-away from her
more like being pushed
bottom line im being told im now single
it just seems so surreal
i mean i try and i try
and the straw that breaks the camel's back
i dont ask her a question ive been meaning to for the past cupple weeks
well excuse me if i wanted to make sure we were still together for it
maybe ill go out for a bit 
i rele dont know
i mean i never tried to hurt her
but im told thats all im doing
its wierd rite now
i cant speak out loud but i can type all i want
and i may sound calm and depressed
but i am fucking livid(look it up, its a big word)
maybe ill cry myself to sleep but right now i just want some air
cancerous air
i find it so strange that i can me so mad and yet so calm
i feel .......whats the word.......dissaccociated from ......well everything
its like im here but im not
well srry for rambling
im out to inhale that sweet sweet cancerous air
then goin to cry myself to sleep

 here's one
one of my exes sed she cheated on me

have you ever had a time where you just constantly think that your doing the wrong thing?
like not matter what you do...its just wrong
you dont know how or why but you just feel it
its been one of those weeks
its really agrivating me too
unfortunatly ive resorted to hitting one of my best buds
i dont mean to, i just cant stop myself(srry kye)
GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
its just so damn agrivating
not to mention all the damn pressure im under
I have to find a job
get my shit together for grad
Finish my courses
and get all the shit i wanna do all in the next three weeks
the only downside is the one thing i REALLY want to do, i cant
she's busy all month
maybe ill take hailey to see some other friends
cudnt rele hurt to get out
but ya back to topic
i seem to be falling into this pit of despair, i think
its like im losing touch with everything
dont know how
dont know why
i just am
i wish i cud take a vacation from myself, like an out of body experience or sumthing, just to go see how my friends are doing
>(oh oh oh Random thought)<
What if i could fly. just fly to their house and scare the hell outta them.
>(RT done :P)<
well i better head off to bed
dont wanna be Cranky for hailey tomorrow
Byes

P.s. What superpower would you have? Why? What Would You do with it?

 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
ok im done
byes

have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like you wanna get out
like just leave your body for a day and do whatever
i wish i could do that
lately ive just been yelled at or pressured
over and over and over and...(you get the point)
I FUCKIN KNOW ALREADY NOW STEP OFF AND LET ME DO IT
i mean its at the point where i walked home in the rain(its a long walk) and just screamed for an hour while walking
i met some friends and apparently id scared them
lmao
it was funny
but now im at the point where i just wanna do it again
just scream till i cant speak
its like when i have my moments when im just livid
you kno like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY beyond pissed off
i feel it in my back
then it creeps up my back
and into my head
from there the pressure just builds and builds and builds and...(get the point again?)
then it gets rele wierd cuz i feel like i wanna get up and tear something apart
idk what....just anything
sometimes it come rele fast,
other times i can feel it coming slowly
either way it fuckin freaks me out
especially if im in the bush
its like im a feral cat or sumthing its wierd

 ive got another somg stuck in my damn head
well its 2 now
the 1 i posted yesterday (all the same - sick puppies)
and this 1 (over and over - nelly feat. tim mcgraw)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it’s all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I can’t wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it’s a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
But I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I Can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
Ohh
I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I Can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

(Now that I’ve realized that I’m going down
From all this pain you’ve put me through
Every time I close my eyes I lock it down oh
I can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it’s all in my head

  someone told me he other day they they hate one of my friends
the barrage of words that followed totally violated my ears
i almost recoiled with every syllable that flew from their mouth
the venom that they spat stil disturbes me
i got 2 sides to a story that ends up tearing 2 ppl apart
it sucks cuz i get chewed out for being this persons friend

friend quiz


Name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.. No cheating!!!



1. Rosie
2. kyle
3. kayla
4. jay
5. matt
6. cody
7. lisa
8. sam 1<g
9. sam 2<w/fk
10.john



DONT LOOK AHEAD UNLESS YOU FILLED OUT THE TOP!

How did you meet 3?
i met her randomly at algo one day when i bugged 1

What would you do if you had never met 1?
institutionalized

What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out?
 that would be freakin hilarious :P

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
once

How do you know 8?
i met her  thru 5 or 6 at the beach

Would you ever date 6?
if i didnt have 1, maybe

What do you think about 7?
shes pretty cool but she freakin got me hooked on degrassi dammit

What would you do if 5 confessed they loved you?
id say, " youve sed that many times" lol

A fact about 9?
she is terribly missed my 1 and i

Who is 4 going out with?
3

What's 2 do for a living?
havent the foggiest

Would you ever live with 8?
i dont think 1 wud like that very much

Where does 7 live?
on a highway, i think

What do you think about 10?
he's a douche (fyi not my bro) his lameass dropped outta school just cuz he didnt wanna go

What do you love about number 1?
Everything in the world. period

Is 2 your best friend?
i consider him one even tho we dont hang out much

 the fire in your eyes is what keeps me alive
the main part anyways
i forgot what else i was gonna say

 i dont undestand y she does that sometimes
she tries to guilt trip me cuz i dont wanna do one little thing
like hello its not like it matters
besides he was going to bed anyways
i just find it annoying
oh well i guess il have to put up with it

i get it
im a fake
just dont throw it in my damn face
i put on that invisible mask
every damn day
the one with the smile
and i go about my day
some people think that its what im actually feeling
lol joke's on them
but its all i can do to not wierd them out
i mean im a nervous fucking wreck and im glad ppl cant see it
i guess it was just the way i was raised
i like helping others but i hate asking for help
others always come first, im just an afterthought
its not that i mind, its that the people who make me depressed can see a damn thing and they thing its entertaining to poke fun at me because of the way i am, the way i dress and the way exist entirely
for instance there's this one bitch at a school downtown that i want to pound her fuckin head in with my steel-toed boots
no-one tells me what to do if they dont know me, and she starts in on me cuz i look at my girlfriend...like cmon bitch have some respect
i swear if i see her and she does that again, ill give her my ultimatum, but if she even tries to lay a hand on my love, i will beat her to within an inch of her life
all becuz she called me emo and i told my gf that she wasnt worth the time to kill lol
stupid shit huh
well i have my moments
angry ones 
depressed ones
happy ones
average ones
same old crap
hey im happier now
i guess i just had to let that out
thats it i guess
ttyl